Doing what I want to do and not doing the very things I hate

The book of Revelation is out of this world. In chapter 8, as John describes his vision of seven angels with trumpets and all of the other-worldly things that come to pass as each of them blow their horns, I am reminded that God is not someone to be understood. He is not something to be grasped. It’s only by His spirit of revelation that we have these texts and images and ideas of who He is and what might transpire when Jesus returns, but until that day comes, we can only imagine a dull glimmer of His fullness.

Knowing that God is this all-powerful, almighty, other-worldly God before whom angels and unimaginable creatures fall face down in reverence, I’m reminded of Romans 8:31 which says, “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Oh, you're against me?? I serve a God that will call upon ONE of His angels and when he blows his trumpet, fire blood ice bullets will be thrown from heaven and a third of the planet as we know it will burn up. Oh, and there are six more angels behind him ready to go. Good luck.

When I really consider my life, though, I have to wonder...are there people actively working against me? Who are my enemies? Am I taking refuge in God's promises to fight for me because there are people out for my blood? The answer is a sheepish no (with the great exception being the Enemy who we know is against us - but we have an Authority and His name is Jesus!!).

The more I consider the reality that God is for me, not against me, I have to ask myself…am I for God? Am I for the things that He is for? Am I myself on His side? I think of Romans 7:15 which says, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” To be honest, I’ve been struggling recently in having faith in God’s ministry of transformation within me. Why am I still this way? Why do I still struggle with this sin? Why do I do what I know is bad and why don't I do what I know is good? 

Father, I pray that in this season, you would grant me greater understanding of who You are so that I may grow in humility. I think too highly of myself. I think too often of myself. Grow me and help me to WANT to share in caring for Your bride, Your people, and Your purposes. Help me to be patient with Your ministry in me and to have faith in Your promise to author and perfect what you started. You are for me, so who can be against me? Not even my own sinfulness can separate me from You. That's amazing grace. Thank you for making the way, Jesus!

Jam of the day: No Other Name