Who am I, Lord

The 2 Samuel 7 passage describes when David, humbled by the greatness of God, asks "Who am I", that God has brought him thus far. How timely it is that I asked the very same question just this week to the Lord while reflecting on what He has been providing recently. This semester started off very rough in various aspects; however, lately God has been so lavish in His blessings, and I'm just left here in awe and in confusion. I don't get it. Part of my wants to recoil back to my skepticism and brace myself to the hardship that karma would inevitably bring. However, I remind myself, that that is not our God. How thankful I am, that God continues to provide abundantly even when we feel unworthy. I pray that I way be able to give Him even more of the praise and thanks that He is more than worthy to receive.

Hebrews 9
13-14  For if the blood of goats and bulls, and the sprinkling of defiled persons with the ashes of a heifer, sanctify for the purification of the flesh, how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without blemish to God, purify our conscience from dead works to serve the living God.

How great is our Lord that He has provided the ultimate sacrifice for our salvation. It still boggles my mind; I didn't more fully realize the significance of Jesus's blood until just last year even though I knew all this time that He died for our sins. Jesus has given His all that we may receive all. How can I not be even more humbled.

Lord, I pray that I may be able to gain a humility that points to You. Thank you Lord for Your lavish provision even when we are not worthy. I pray that I may continue to give You even more praise and thanksgiving. In all things, in all situations, and in all my actions, may You be glorified. 

humility

 “Who am I, O Lord God… that you have brought me thus far?

It is so true how once we think we are humble enough, we are no longer humble.  My favorite song used to be humble king.  There is an image of Jesus washing our feet and I am reminded of all those that have served me in the past to help me be the person I am today.   Thinking about my past and God's faithfulness, I am reminded that he did all the heavy lifting.  He would encourage me or bring people in my life to spur me on in my studies or work.  Even going on mission trips in the past has been amazing because I saw God working, not my effort.

I hope I don't forget that God chose to love me before I could even do anything to deserve it!  That this love came with sacrifice and great humility.  And how I need to love others in need in the same way.

Intentions

Reading the 2 Samuel passage of Uzzah and the Ark of the Covenant reminded me of Saul and the Amalekites. Although both Uzzah and Saul may have had good intentions behind their actions, they were still being disobedient to God's commands in the end. Both of these instances remind me that because we are such broken and lost people, what we may think are "good" intentions can be tainted and skewed by sin and the enemy if not biblically aligned. This also just emphasizes how much more we need to depend on God's wisdom through the Holy Spirit to make any kind of decision in our life.

Hebrews 8
10 This is the covenant I will establish with the people of Israel after that time, declares the Lord. I will put my laws in their minds and write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. 

Thank you God for sending your Son Jesus to make a way for us! Now we have the Holy Spirit to guide us with your laws and precepts day by day so that we may become more holy people.

12 For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.   

Even when we are disobedient; even when our good intentions may end up being bad ones, He still forgives us and loves us for who we are. Thank you Lord for creating me the way you did!

Lord, let me find such great joy in reading your Word. Grow me to have a stronger inclination for your Word. I pray for your Spirit to really open my eyes to your glory in the Word. I earnestly ask for more wisdom, discernment, and clarity as I read so that your laws will always be on my heart and mind. Let me use it as an arsenal against the enemy. Continue to guide my thoughts and intentions so that you may be glorified and made known through them. 

Bold Confidence

Wow.  In reading the passages for today (2 Samuel 6:5-8, Hebrews 8, Isaiah 6:1-7) my mind is hooked on thoughts of holiness.  Our God is holy.  How awesome that Jesus is our High Priest and we can draw near to the throne of grace in bold confidence.  No need to pore over the details in Leviticus about how to relate (perfectly) with a holy God.

The chorus of an old song immediately filled my soul this morning and has been the song of my heart all day: You have opened the way to the Father where before we could never have come.  Jesus, count us as Yours now forever as we sing these freedom songs.  We sing of all You've done...we sing of all You've done for us, won for us, paid us.  Thank You, Lord.  Thank You, thank You for the blood that You shed.  Standing in its blessing we sing these freedom songs.  Thank You for the battle You won.  Standing in Your victory we sing salvation songs.  Have a listen!

Boldly we approach

As God reveals more and more of the sin in my heart, how much there is and how deep some of it rests, I am increasingly amazed by Hebrews 4:14-16

14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

It's easy for me to respond to this passage with self condemnation. Christ was tempted in every way, and He did not sin. Yet, even small circumstances can cause me to stumble. I think God  is continuously reminding me that Christ did not come to bring me shame and condemnation but to set me free from such things. When I compare myself to Christ but fail to account for the true gospel - that Christ came for me - I end up with this weird twisted version of the gospel that is centered around me without Christ - how unholy I am, how unrighteous I am, etc. Rather, as verse 16 highlights, Christ's perfection is significant so that I can approach God's throne of grace with confidence to receive mercy and find grace in our time of need - which, let's be real, is always.

Lord, help me to not twist the gospel and make it about me. Rather, let me really be able to embrace the joy and the hope set before me because of what Christ did. May I boldly approach your thone of grace each day to recevie mercy and find grace.

Praying before Thinking

We're probably all familiar with the saying "Think before you act!" While this is some sage-old advice, it doesn't quite tell a complete story. As sinful humans, even as we think and rationalize through our actions and what the consequences are, there is so much perversion and incorrectness in our thinking. I'm seeing this more and more in myself as I really subscribe to "cost benefit analysis" and weighing pro's and con's while thinking through my actions. Joab probably behaved in a similar way when he was considering murdering Abner; the pro's had to outweigh the con's for him to carry out the murder. However, we see in hindsight (and probably even prior to his action), that it was not aligned with God's will, even though he may have thought it to be correct. Rather than simply thinking through actions and assuming the output is the will of God, I need to work on praying more and listening for His will.

This is further established in Hebrews 3: "12 See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. 13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness."  We need to run from sin and continue coming before God rather than excluding Him from our decision processes and presuming, or even worse, ignoring His desires for us.

Fighting Sin

So, as the Holy Spirit says: "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts..."

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original conviction firmly to the every end. (‭Hebrews‬ ‭3‬:‭7, 13‬-14 NIV)

This might sound pretty obvious, but sin (and Satan) is really tricky. Sure, there are times when we intentionally do something sinful, but even then, I feel like most of the time there are several intermediate steps where we are presented with lies and ultimately convinced that certain things are OK, leading to an act of sin. We make compromises that we ultimately we ultimately regret later on and it only hurts us as well as the greater church body. The greater problem lies when we start to become hard to it. Whether it's due to resignation (i.e., giving up with certain struggles and just giving in to it) or simply ignoring the fact that it's a problem and just living with it, when we allow this to be a part of who we are. I'm encouraged by these verses, however, because it reminds me that we need for the Holy Spirit as well as the church body to work in and be a part of our lives to fight sin and live for Christ. The Holy Spirit is always with us as our Counselor to guide and lead us during temptation and battling sin. In addition to that, we are commanded to "encourage one another daily," showing the importance of true fellowship and spiritual accountability. True accountability hasn't come very natural to me and has been something that I've had to consciously attempt and work on through the last several years. Things like pride, fear and simply not being used to sharing about certain things get in the way. But I'm reminded of the reward that we have in Christ and I as I press on toward the prize, I want to keep seeking guidance from the Holy Spirit as well as grow in accountability for my personal sake, to encourage my brother/sister around me and to ultimately build up His kingdom.

Family Love

One thing that God has been teaching me is how important family is -- that this is where we grow as we deal with conflicts, this is where we learn how to minister to others. The Bible is full of instances in which people fall apart due to broken families, and God is persistent in bringing redemption in their stories. I think this is one of the reasons why we get attacked in our spiritual family, in the church, because we work, live, and serve so closely with each other and it's easy to become vulnerable and hurt. We're motivated by our own interests and pursue our own goals, and our selfish nature comes out a lot in spite of the ministry that we would like to advance. A lot of times we're misunderstood, or unable to clearly communicate our goals and feelings, and end up hurting, so we retaliate with bitterness.

I've realized that it's important for me to come back to my identity as God's child. When I feel attacked, it's because I'm letting other people's words and perspectives take priority over what God thinks of me. In my "easy" relationships, everything about myself is being satisfied and my own goals are met; in my "difficult" relationships, the other person doesn't understand me, I don't get what I want, and our needs and personalities constantly clash. It's especially hard with a brother or sister in the church, because I naturally assume that we have the same "spiritual goals" and it's hard for me to understand why they are doing something different. It's in these moments that I have to stop and humble myself, that there is a lot more I have to learn, and that these relationships are most precious when I am being strengthened and sharpened.

It's not easy being merciful

Monday, April 20 

Yesterday, as I drove home yesterday on I-76 in 30 mph traffic, an impatient driver barely grazed past my car as it cut suddenly in front of mine. Always the one for retributive traffic justice, I honked at the driver. The aforementioned driver stuck up his middle finger and later swerved back to the other lane in front of another car, all the while sticking his digit out of the window. With no hesitation I started reciting the car’s license plate numbers, feeling that if I could do something with that information (I don’t know…), then justice would be served. It’s incredible how long and hard we can hold onto grudges against those who have wronged us.

Reading David’s eulogy for the fallen King Saul felt like a rebuke coming straight from God. King Saul wanted to kill David! He forced David to flee and hide. My traffic incident pales in comparison to the threats that David faced, yet David demonstrated much more mercy towards him than I ever did to my traffic offender. David went beyond what ordinary people are able to do, praising Saul and mourning over his death. I am reminded of the infinite grace bestowed upon me, and the mercy that our Father lavishes on me.  Even though this has been an embarrassing confession of my personal battles with anger, I’m thankful that God draws out these sins from deep within me into a light so that I may be able to recognize them and cast them out of my life.

God's Word is True

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  - Lamentations 3:22-23

The context in which these verses are written make them seem out of place. They are written by a man who has seen affliction, pain and suffering.

Verse 21 just prior to this is actually my favorite verse in this chapter:

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:  - Lamentations 3:21

Pastor Ryun spoke on Friday about asking the Lord to speak to you through scripture. He said he gets lots of images, but he is not always sure that they are from the Lord. But if scripture comes to mind through the Holy Spirit, he can always rely on it.

And that's exactly what happened here -  in the midst of difficulty, he called to mind the promises of God - which have now become our scripture - and encouraged himself to hope even when things seemed hopeless.

I think I overlooked the importance of scripture for a long time in my life. Even now as I read it, I'm still reading many things for the first time. But it's pretty incredible to continually uncover the truths and character of God in scripture. Many of them I've held really close in difficult times. Many times a friend has spoken verses over me in different situations that have given me a lot of hope. The Word is truly a gift.

Seeing as How God Sees

Today's Bible reading ties in really well with what P.Young preached concerning the spirit of comparison.  We see in 2 Samuel 1 that David did not have the spirit of comparison.  When he found out that King Saul had died on the battlefield, he didn't rejoice and gloat that he was better or stronger.  Instead, he and all the men with him tore their clothes in grief.  David recognized Saul, not as someone who he was competing with for the throne, but recognized him simply as the Lord's anointed.

That is extremely convicting because many times I find myself comparing myself to other Brothers and Sisters in Christ.  Instead of just seeing them as someone who is chosen by God and a co-heir with Christ, I see them as people who are more gifted in certain ways or have things that I don't have.  This spirit of comparison 1) prevents me from being in a place of contentment and 2) doesn't allow me to care about building up the Body.  Unknowingly, I've placed myself on the throne whenever I would rather myself be the one who ushers in God's Glory than someone else.

God, help me to see people as Your creation.  And help me, especially, with seeing fellow believers as those who are chosen for Your Glory.    

His compassions never fail

My favorite verses from today's devotional is Lamentations 3:22-23:
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

Though there may so many trials in life, God's grace is never ending. He is faithful through it all and it never runs out. This concept that God's goodness never runs out is so contrary to the world's ideas. His compassions always cover over any of life's challenges, brokenness, and sins. Just before these couple of verses, the author writes about his afflictions, how he was mocked and his difficult struggles, yet he remembers that it's because of God's great love that he is not consumed. It's such a good reminder that whatever we go through in life, the fact that we are God's beloved and that His love prevails should give us this confidence in life. We walk with His authority. 

Death to Life

Reading through Lamentations 1 (Friday) really makes real the first part of Romans 6:23 that the wages of sin are death. Through the chapter, we see the consequences for sin for Jerusalem being its miserable, captive state. It's been on my heart recently that unless we realize where we would be if without the cross, we would not be able to fully appreciate Christ's sacrifice (as Pastor Victor spoke about during retreat about the widow who felt greater indebted and thus was able to love greater. Even though the chapter itself is sad and somber, we can again take hope in Romans 6:23 that now the gift of God is eternal life, such that despite our sins and shortcomings, we may have life!

Blessings in the Struggle

In today’s AMI devotional, a really awesome message is presented to us: in the midst of our pain and suffering, God is our comfort and strength. 

A little over a year ago, I lost a family member to brain cancer.  This family member was diagnosed while I was living in Atlanta and getting ready for my senior year of college.  Ever since the diagnosis, I constantly questioned with a lot of anger: “God, why did you allow this to happen?...God, what did I do to deserve this?”  I continued to wrestle with God about this part of my life, and He used that time to show so much grace.  As I struggled, my brothers and sisters in Christ struggled with me and prayed with me.  My family became closer as we prayed together and loved harder because we realized that time is so limited.    

From such a tragic experience, I was reminded of how much strength I have in numbers.  Had I not understood what God was trying to show me during that time, I think my personality/emotions/attitude/etc. today would be very different.  I can only imagine how much bitterness I'd have towards God if I didn't pray and have such an awesome support system.  Friends ask how I let a loss like that ‘not affect me’, but I tell them “It affects me a whole lot, but I ultimately know that I am loved by friends, family, and [most importantly] God”.  Thank you, God.

Psalm 121

¹ I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
² My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

³ He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

⁷ The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
⁸ the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.

Learning to Rest in Him

(Post for Tuesday, 4/14)

Philippians 4:8-9  Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

This week has been one of the most stressful I've had all semester with close to little or no sleep, and it's taken a toll on my physical, mental, and spiritual life. Operating with little sleep has made me feel so weak and tired, impatient with everyone, and hopeless about the next few days. Because I stopped operating on my normal sleeping schedule a few days ago, I have felt like I have had to "cram" in spending time with God or doing it while doing something else (i.e. eating or listening to praise music while running to/from the train) without truly stopping and taking a moment to rest in and rely on God to provide me with the strength I desire and need. 

Philippians 4:8-9 thus reminds me to dwell on the things that the Lord has shown and given to me with a heart of thankfulness so that the God of peace will be with me. Yesterday, in the midst of all my stress and busyness, I ran into another sister at the student campus center and caught up with her on how things have been with me and the different ways in which God has been using me and speaking to me. As I was sharing these things, I was so fully reminded of God's faithfulness and was so strengthened and filled with peace, even physically, upon thinking of my God who has been with me every step of the way and will continue to be with me and fight every single battle of mine with me. 

Recently, I've also been challenged to think of how I can glorify God more in my every life even when I'm not doing devotions, at church, in family group, or something church related. How can I praise and glorify God through my work, my schoolwork, my every day conversations with the majority of my friends who are nonbelievers, and even conversations with my other family and friends? These verses remind me to practice everything God has shown me and taught me in these everyday walks of life so that I will be stronger in Him because I can truly rest in knowing that He is good, that He is sovereign, and that He has every best interest for me that will ultimately glorify Him and also make me stronger in my relationship with Him. 

So today as I continue on with my assignments and press on even with a severe lack of sleep, I praise God that He makes all things new every day and that I will be reminded of God's goodness so that any feelings of bitterness, hopelessness, fatigue, and complaint will be replaced with ultimate peace and joy from the Lord. 

Lose control, gain freedom

(wrote on Saturday but forgot to post on blog)

Jeremiah 46
v. 27 “But fear not, O Jacob my servant, nor be dismayed, O Israel, for behold, I will save you from far away, and your offspring from the land of their captivity. Jacob shall return and have quiet and ease, and none shall make him afraid.

In today's AMI devotional we are asked to reflect on two questions pertaining the the passage of 1 Sam. 23:5-7 where David chooses to not kill Saul and feels regret towards having stricken just his robe. Unlike David, I think that I used too take matter into my own hands a lot instead of lifting it up to the Lord. Even now I do, but I know that God has changed so much in my own heart to strip a lot of that away. I want to be able to realize when the Lord calls me to do something counter to our own fleshly desires. Nowadays I take more care in 'waiting for the Lord and His timing' but it can still be difficult in knowing whether His timing is revealed through conviction, circumstance, or even dreams. The second question asks whether we become critical of our church's mission and ministry. I know that P. Young often concedes that GCC is not a perfect church, and I know that it isn't. But really reflecting on how much GCC has grown me as well as the fruit that I have seen in my own eyes, as a friend of mine matter-of-factly professed, when you walk into Meyerson, you are slapped with the power of the Holy Spirit. I know that the people that God has put into authority have been anointed, as David considered Saul to be anointed despite his recent actions. I think that these questions remind me to just have more faith in God -- a faith that goes beyond personal circumstance and acknowledges His sovereignty over all. 

Today, I was also convicted with the word 'freedom', especially during prayer at missions meeting. Whether it be freedom in the places we will be ministering to this summer, freedom in our own church, or personal freedom, I pray that God continues to reveal to us what it means to be free in Christ. 

Lord, continue to humble me and teach me. Continue to demonstrate to me what it means to wait on Your timing, because I know that Your timing is perfect. I pray that I may not feel in the position to desire my own control over situations, time, or my own life. Help me to understand more of how big You truly are and Your sovereignty as another part of Your power and character. 

Not Without Witness

"1The word that Jeremiah the prophet spoke to Baruch the son of Neriah, when he wrote these words in a book at the dictation of Jeremiah, in the fourth year of Jehoiakim the son of Josiah, king of Judah: 2 “Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, to you, O Baruch: 3 You said, ‘Woe is me! For the Lord has added sorrow to my pain. I am weary with my groaning, and I find no rest.’ 4 Thus shall you say to him, Thus says the Lord: Behold, what I have built I am breaking down, and what I have planted I am plucking up—that is, the whole land. 5 And do you seek great things for yourself? Seek them not, for behold, I am bringing disaster upon all flesh, declares the Lord. But I will give you your life as a prize of war in all places to which you may go.” Jer 45

When I think about our God, I am always amazed with who he is. When we try to describe who God is, we oftentimes have to resort to negative theology, negating what he is not, using terms like "infinite". Although we may never know our God exhaustively, he does not leave us questioning who he is. Out of his great love for us, he has voluntarily condescended to tell us who he is so that we ought not to speculate and come up with some notion of a God filtered through our own human understanding of the world. In Jer. 25, the words of the Lord are recorded in order that the deeds of the Lord might be understood. This passage reminds us that God always couples his deed with word. He is not in the business of acting and leaving us to wonder what he has done or what the meaning of it is. Not only does he condescend to tell us who he is, he also explains exactly what he is doing. Let us thank our gracious father, who has decided to write down all that we need to know in his infallible word in order that we might know his great love for His children!

A True Friend Indeed

" And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. 17 “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this.” -1 Samuel 25:16-17

After reading about David and Jonathan's friendship and how true it remained despite all adversity, I went back to the beginning of 1 Samuel to find out more.
"After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. ² From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family. ³ And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. ⁴ Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt."-1 Samuel 18:1-4 

I honestly believe that the reason David and Jonathan had such a strong friendship was because David was devoted to God wholeheartedly and this is what made him different from the others. Jonathan admired that so much he loved David like his own blood and they both made a promise before God to be true friends before their jobs or families (brilliant military leader/prince of Israel). 

In my own personal life, I am truly thankful to have friends and family that can be honest about my flaws and failures despite spending a lot of time in solitude for my job. Although I teach multiple students, it is sometimes difficult for me to be honest in our lessons since no one likes being corrected and told to fix things! Yet if no one told them or spent time on them, how could each note and phrase in each piece be perfected and made complete in time for the performance? Sometimes being truthful in rebuke  is more helpful than hearing how one is so gifted and talented because it builds up character and discipline, though it may be hard at first without taking it so personally. We might not see it at first, but I think God put those people in our lives for that reason.  A good friend in need is a good friend indeed.

Prov. 17:17: A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
Prov. 18:24: One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Lord, thank you for Your Truth-for sending Jesus to die for our sins and rise again, just as He had said: "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Let us remember to value your friendship in all we do today in our daily lives and continue to strengthen our personal relationship with You. Help us to be open to correction and honesty in order to build up ourselves for Your Church. Give us words of wisdom in love as we keep our friends and ourselves accountable. 

Stand Firm IN THE LORD

I was encouraged by reading the passage in Ephesians 6 on Putting on the Full Armor of God.  

I do internally cry out, "Ahhhhh, Lord HELP me!" as battles rage all around me.  The enemy is ruthless.  My heart was glued in particular to the words "put on God's whole armor", "put on God's complete armor" in vs 11 and vs 13 (amp).  Along with those words, the repetition of the word "stand" throughout the passage pierced and strengthened my heart.  

The armor is God's.  He supplies it.  I can stand firmly...stand confidently...stand in raging battles...stand ready...stand, not fall.  He's my Truth, my Righteousness, my Peace, my Faith, my Salvation, my Living Word.   

Thank you Father God!  You are my full covering. I stand because of You.  

Battle Gear

The more I grow in my faith walk and serve God, the more I become aware of how much sin is in my own life and how I can't go through this battle fighting by myself. Spiritual warfare is no joke - the enemy tries to attack me every day through temptations, whispers of not being good enough, and anxiety about the future.

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
Ephesians 6:13

I am continually reminded daily that I need Jesus. I am so thankful that God has provided us with his son to atone for our sins and our shortcomings and that even when we fall, we can pick ourselves up knowing that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). What encouraged me while reading Ephesians 6:13 was that even after I have done everything in MY power to stand, I will still be able to stand. This will not be from my own will or what I have done, but because I have the armor of God. I am victorious because God is victorious. I want to remind myself of this every time I am faced with sin or discouragement.

Being a Guide

Jeremiah 43

2 Azariah son of Hoshaiah and Johanan son of Kareah and all the arrogant men said to Jeremiah, "You are lying! The Lord our God has not sent you to say, 'You must not go to Egypt to settle there.' 3 But Baruch son of Neriah is inciting you against us to hand us over to the Babylonians, so they may kill us or carry us into exile to Babylon. 4 So Johanan son of Kareah and all the army officers and all the people disobeyed the Lord's command to stay in the land of Judah. 5 Instead, Johanan son of Kareah and all the army officers led away all the remnant of Judah who had come back to live in the land of Judah from all the nations where they had been scattered. 

Due to the arrogance and stubbornness of their own hearts, Johanan and the rest of his men disobeyed God's message. What made matters worse is that because of their disbelief, they ended up misguiding those around them.

As God may place me in a role to be an older brother figure in some people's lives, one thing I constantly ask for is more wisdom. The last thing I'd want is to make people around me suffer/stumble as a consequence of any unwise actions or words. 

Lord, give me a more teachable and humble heart that constantly seeks for your wisdom, so that you may be glorified through me as I speak or share about you and your word with others. 

Opposition is likely a sign that we're spiritually healthy

It wasn't until college and until I really engaged in a deeper relationship with God and served Him more intentionally did I learn and experience first-hand spiritual warfare. There are often so many discouragements, open criticism, or just situational challenges that come up right after a spiritual breakthrough or right after lots of good fruit. It makes sense that when the Kingdom of God is being built and when the Lord is being served and His name proclaimed, the enemy shutters and tries to steal, kill and destroy. What was really encouraging through today's devotional, is that these "discouragements", spiritual attacks, evidences of spiritual warfare, persecutions, etc are actually indicators that we're doing the right thing. "If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you."  Truly, it's because the Spirit of God dwells in us and that's why there is and will be opposition. And even though the immediate situation may be a challenge, it's actually a mark that we're doing the right thing and rather than being discouraged, it should encourage us to fight that much harder for the Lord. There's nothing to fear for the victory has been won and God is with us.

Obedience

I love playing the victim card whenever I don't get my way.  Of course, I'll hardly voice my dissatisfaction, but what happens internally is a different story.

A short story: in 2013 the GCC summer team to China partnered with the AMI Beijing church to help run a week-long retreat for local church leaders.  Our team was told that most of us would be helping with a VBS for the kids.  Internally, I felt like I was being cheated by being a glorified babysitter.  I wanted to be where the action was with the adults and where I (pridefully) felt I could be more useful.  Not surprisingly, the VBS was an awesome time and the kids really melted my heart.  However, it wasn't until the last day when we were really blessed: the entire congregation adults+children were together and there was an "open mic" time where anyone could share about the retreat.  Every. single. church leader that went up to speak talked mainly about their kids and how they were so grateful that we taught them VBS.  They all shared that there was a great need in their communities for Sunday schools and so they felt that even this one week of us investing into their kids was answered prayers.  We were so rebuked and so blessed!

There are multiple things going on in this situation.  First, there needed to be serious reflection of where my heart was.  Why did I feel victimized?  Was it pride?  Second, did I choose to obey or not to obey?  Jeremiah 42-43 tells us the story of the remnant of Israel.  They inquired of what God wants them to do.  What they received was: stay (under threat of being destroyed by Babylon) and God will protect them and build them back up or run away to Egypt (away from the threat of Babylon) and destruction will follow.  The Israelites chose to run away, and sure enough, destruction followed them.  Praise the Lord that we chose to obey because who knows what kind of damage we could've done if we hadn't.

Lord, help me to recognize that I don't "deserve" anything and that all Glory and Honor and Praise should be Yours and Yours alone.  Also, help me to trust that Your plans are ALWAYS better.

Hardness of Heart

Thoughts for Saturday April 4

As I read this devotional, I thought about how difficult it is oftentimes when evangelizing to Jews. Often times I think about how the Scriptures are so plain and clear that knowing what they know of the OT, Jesus as fulfillment of the Messiah prophecies should be obvious. Yet we see even on the road to Emmaus, even after Jesus died, and testimony of his resurrection had begin to spread, these Jews were still in unbelief, clinging onto their hope of the Messiah as a earthly king.

But I can't really be too harsh, after all I think the Jews in many ways have been blinded as fulfillment of  prophecy, and their past hurts and circumstances have led them astray even when Jesus came to proclaim Himself as Messiah.

This got me thinking about the poor and the homeless for some reason. Though God has been softening my heart, its still hard for me to have compassion on people like the homeless, or people who beg, or people who generally do disagreeable things like steal, rape, kill, etc. I have to believe that, something in their lives has turned them like this, whether it was a broken family, or being sexually assaulted in their own lives, or even just learning that the world treats them like dirt and so they treat the world like dirt too. Can I really blame them for their cynicism and jadedness?

Prior experiences shape future expectations.

It is only the gospel that can heal past wounds, the gospel that can reclaim those lost years, the gospel that saves lives. I only have to look at my own life to see how true and transformative that resurrection gospel can be.

Lord, help me to see from their perspective of brokenness. Help me to see from my perspective of brokenness.

Easter: The Spirit Within Us

Romans 8:11

If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.

Wow, God really loves us and this love is so unfathomable. He gave us everything. He gave us Jesus simply because of His deep deep love for us. And not only that He gave us the same powerful Spirit that raised Jesus to live in us. What does this mean? It means that we are transformed and we are set apart. The Spirit is so incredibly powerful and I don't remember that enough. The Spirit works in us to heal us, restore us, fill us with full joy and peace. The Spirit satisfies us completely, we just need to remember that we need nothing us in this world. With the knowledge that the Spirit dwell in us, it should also inspire us to live out of this approval. I am reminded that we have authority because of Him and we need to fear nothing of this world. The Spirit comforts us and guides us through our walk into eternity. May these truths, God's love, the reminders and convictions from Easter be sealed in our hearts as we continue to serve Him. 

The Neverending Story

^"11 Now Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon had given these orders about Jeremiah through Nebuzaradan commander of the imperial guard: ¹² “Take him and look after him; don’t harm him but do for him whatever he asks.” ¹³ So Nebuzaradan the commander of the guard, Nebushazban a chief officer, Nergal-Sharezer a high official and all the other officers of the king of Babylon ¹⁴ sent and had Jeremiah taken out of the courtyard of the guard. They turned him over to Gedaliah son of Ahikam, the son of Shaphan, to take him back to his home. So he remained among his own people."
-Jeremiah 39: 11-14

In Jeremiah 39, we see that Jerusalem falls to the invading Babylonians. True to Jeremiah's prophecy, King Zedekiah and his royal family are captured, his sons are killed, he is blinded and enslaved, and the city is burned. The people are taken and made to leave their homes. 

It is a striking contrast between what happens to Jeremiah and Zedekiah-Jeremiah trusts in the Lord and is freed from captivity, while Zedekiah cares only about himself and is then destroyed. What a time for Jeremiah-even though he could not see what the ending of his own personal story was, he trusted in God and the Lord rescued him from his enemies according to His Promise. 

As P. Shan Gian said, we as believers do know the ending of the story: how God sends His one and only Son to die for a people who are unworthy of such love. What other King would give up his riches, his rights, his comforts, to die for the sins of the world? He did it simply because He loved us so much that He wanted us to be redeemed, restored, and renewed in knowing Him.  Knowing this ending DOES change everything for us. No matter how far we run or how we fall, we can fix our eyes on Jesus realizing that he conquered the greatest obstacle of all: death itself. We are forever transformed by knowing LOVE CAME FOR US!
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  The most beautiful ending of all is the one of Easter morning, when we see the empty tomb. Jesus has overcome-He is Risen!!!

Father, I thank you for your great love for us.Thank you for letting us know how Your story ends,that THIS IS LOVE. Jesus loves me and died for me. May this revelation of Truth be filled with joy and peace; I pray that the Holy Spirit will seal this Truth in our hearts and minds as we continue to press forward in our work, studies, and daily lives. May we overflow so much with the joy of knowing you that we cannot help but share this beautiful story with others who don't know you. May the Truth of this Story remind us that when we are uncertain of the future, we are certain of knowing Your Story-You have risen from the dead!  May All Glory,Honor and Praise be to you- Jesus, the Servant King!!My Savior and God!!!

Take heart! I have overcome the world!

Sometime during C.S. Lewis' ministry, he encountered a Russian astronaut who had returned from space and reported that he had not found God. To us, the idea of going into space and finding God just hanging out by the sun seems ludicrous, but at that time, it was probably a reasonable supposition (given their limited knowledge, technological boundaries, etc.). Lewis replied by likening this astronaut's quest to find God in space to Hamlet going into the attic of his castle to find Shakespeare. 

Although I had heard this account previously, it struck me in a deeper way this week. God is our Creator, the Almighty, the One in whom we, "live and move and have our being" (Acts 17:28)...all of these truths have a new and exciting meaning to me as I reflect on the reality that God is our playwright. Hamlet cannot say to Shakespeare, "I'm going to take this path, I'm going to pursue this goal. I’m going to make it happen." Rather, Hamlet is subject to the pen of Shakespeare, his creator. He is at the will of the ink of the author who thought of him, decided his story, and gave birth to his very existence by putting creative imagination and musings onto paper.

Given all of this, how is it possible that God looked at us with such loving eyes and decided, “I will write myself into your story.” This Easter, I’m really tuned into the reality that Jesus did not consider Himself to be one with God (Philippians 2:6), but humbled Himself by descending from His heavenly throne, coming into our story, walking on the same ground, sharing the same air…all so that He could serve, love, and give Himself as the ultimate sacrifice for my sins, your sins, the sins of the world – past present, and future.

Father, send your Spirit of revelation to continue to pull back the layers of our reality. We are your creation. We are living in a world whose expansive heavens are just Your footstool (Isaiah 66:1). But you looked on us with mercy and decided to write Yourself into our story. Thank You for the perfect blood that was spilled on the cross and made a way for us to enter Your presence. Thank You for being the author and playwright of our lives, the ending of which we already know through Jesus and His finished work at Cavalry. We cry, lift our hands, and revere the cross as we think upon Your death today, but we know that this story ends with victory. On this side of heaven, help us to trust in the words You spoke in the days leading to the cross: “Take heart! I have overcome the world!” (John 16:33). Yes, Lord! Though today we only see in a mirror dimly lit, one day we will see face to face (1 Corinthians 13:12). Keep drawing us, keep showing us, keep growing our trust in You, the ultimate playwright, author, and perfecter of our faiths, our lives, and our destinies as co-heirs with Christ. PRAISE, HONOR, AND GLORY TO THE KING OF KINGS! THE LORD OF LORDS! ::cheers and slams laptop on cafe floor::

Song for today