Goliath's Mindset

1 Samuel 17:41-47

There have been many times in my life when I've held the same mindset as Goliath and the Philistine army - scoffing at what I thought were small battles and thinking that I was competent enough to overcome them through my own strengths. Every time this occurs, I'm always humbled by the fact that I'm so weak and foolish, and that I need to constantly depend and rely on God no matter how small or big my struggles or circumstances may seem. 

I remember one instance when I was tasked to print out small handouts for ministry outreach. What I originally thought would take less than an hour took over several hours due to unforeseen technical issues. I caught myself becoming impatient and bitter at myself and at the people who had assigned me the job. Through this small and mindless task, the enemy used it to take a foothold in my life. 

After this event, I've been reminded and trying to be more prayerful about lifting everything up to God, even battles that I don't even consider battles. Like what P. Shan said, I want to continue making ALL of my battles His battles.

Lord, thank you for allowing us to make our battles your battles through what your Son accomplished. May I always be humbled by this, and especially prepare my heart this week. I pray for a more prayerful heart that will constantly seek you for guidance and strength in all that I do or face. Lord, unblind my eyes from my inhibitions and help me to fix them on you, for you have already overcame and you allow us to overcome. 

God's Intentions

P. Shan's devotional thoughts and the Bible reading for the day are really relevant in light of Palm Sunday.  P. Shan shared the passage in 1 Samuel where the Lord was going to reveal which one of Jesse's sons was going to be anointed.  After misjudging based on looks, the Lord rebukes Samuel and tells him that "the Lord sees not as man sees".

We come to the Bible reading, where the passage in Jeremiah contains a certain prophecy:

“In those days and at that time I will make a righteous Branch sprout from David’s line; he will do what is just and right in the land. In those days Judah will be saved and Jerusalem will live in safety. This is the name by which it will be called: The Lord Our Righteous Savior."
-Jeremiah 33:15-16

Who is this?? This is Jesus!  On Sunday, we remember that this was the day where Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey and people lined the streets, laid palm branches before Him, and proclaimed: "Hosanna to the son of David!".  The Jewish people knew the old prophecies - they most definitely would have looked for one while under Roman oppression.  But then they immediately rejected him a mere few days later.  Why didn't they recognize Jesus??  The Jewish people, like Samuel, were judging him based on what they themselves were looking for.  If they only asked what God thought they would have gotten an answer.  

I'm challenged by this story because I wonder if I would have recognized Jesus to be the Messiah - the Son of God?  (Shoutout to Tim Hu, because we just had this conversation last night hahaha).  In every situation, am I questioning what God's will is?  Do I let my (mis)perceptions cover God's intentions?  Lord, help me to ALWAYS seek Your will and to see things through Your eyes.

A Less Busy Heart

A couple of years ago, P. Young (Or P. Ryun; I forget) gave a sermon on prayer in the summer. He gave many examples of men of God who were swamped with ministry and busy lives, but who made prayer and their relationship with God the priority of their daily lives. It wasn't just one hour that they prayed, but many prayed 3-4 hours a day. Even Jesus found time to be with His Father. In Too Busy Not to Pray, Hybels repeats something very similar saying that prayer doesn't make a less busy life, but a less busy heart.

When I heard this sermon, I was really convicted to take charge of my prayer life, and read lots of books on prayer. While the discipline lasted for a few months, I quickly fell into regression when I went home for winter break. I admit, busyness in my life can be addicting and problematic. I love being busy, but I know that I lack the discipline to maintain a busy life without some form of worry, anxiety, or apprehension to make its way into my thought life. Time management is something that I struggle with, and it definitely leaks into my relationship with God. Many days, I find that I'm struggling to have consistent quiet time with the Lord, and it only lengthens my stress and worry.

God, please help me make time to speak to you and listen to you. My heart is so busy, but I know that you offer peace and joy rather than worry and stress. Please be the Lord over my time.

More Jesus.

After today's devo, I reflected on my own alone time / relationship with God.

Ultimately, I find myself in a spirit of thanksgiving...

In 2015, I finally took measures to vastly improve my Bible reading life.  Regrettably, my reading life was almost non-existent before this year.  I’ve taken the time to do the AMI Devo’s each day, and I’m accepting different forms of accountability from people in GCC that help my reading life.  None of my circumstances have really changed because of this, but what has really changed is my relationship with God; reading the Bible regularly has really upgraded my alone time with God from merely a short prayer each day.  From reading more, I feel like I know God more.  Also, my prayer life is improving because praying now feels more like conversations with a real person. 

This change in lifestyle has also led me to give up something for Lent for once.  I’ve given up TV series and significant Internet time.   At first, I felt like I was going crazy whenever I needed a study break because I didn’t know what to do with myself.  Realizing how much TV shows and Internet have been a part of my life, I knew that I had to fill these newly empty spaces in me with more Jesus.  Practically speaking, these gaps in my time have been filled more Christian music and prayer. I usually don’t spend the 1-2 hours [that would have been spent watching an episode or two] in prayer or music.  If anything, my ‘study breaks’ have simply become richer and shorter as I go back into 'study mode' sooner.  I feel like I’m worshipping the Lord more overall by being a better steward of my God-given time and energy as a student.  Interestingly enough, time management is really not my strong suit...at all.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own, you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your bodies. 

Dear God,

Thank you for the ‘spiritual gains’ that I have experienced this year, and I pray that these blessings would not be limited to this Lent season.  May it even motivate me to continue welcoming you in more aspects and ‘spaces’ in my life.  Amen.

God's Faithfulness

In the AMI devos, I was convicted by Christy Chang's sharing about living out your Christian life even when no one is watching. For me personally, it has been a struggle living out my Christian life when I go back home with family; it is easy to go back into a state of idleness, apathy, and less of a desire to show love. Here it is easy to feel the love of God and to be be filled with readiness to share the His Word, but at home even my family does not see the transformation that Christ has performed in my life despite my own proclamation and actions within the comforts of GCC and even Philadelphia. If the words of Jesus is really true in my life, shouldn't I abide by them especially in my own home and with my own blood? I am reminded that I must be a witness and minister to my own house as well as to the people here.

Jeremiah 30

v.19 Out of them shall come songs of thanksgiving, and the voices of those who celebrate. I will multiply them, and they shall not be few; I will make them honored, and they shall not be small. 

Jeremiah 31

v.34 And no longer shall each one teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying, 'Know the Lord,' for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, declares the Lord. For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more."

As Easter approaches and as we prepare for missions, it been a growing desire for me to know the Lord even more. I've been reflecting on how much the Lord has been gracious to me and been providing for me despite my own tendencies to shy away from Him. As I let go of one of my greatest idols and stumbling blocks for the remaining of the Lenten season and the rest of the school year, my greatest desire is to grow even deeper in Him -- that He continuously fill the void in my life that I He has allowed me to offer to Him. We as Christians have been offered the new covenant that allows us access into His intimacy. How awesome is that. Throughout Jeremiah we see God's graciousness despite the hard-headedness of His people. I am thankful for His grace and His unquestionable love. 

Lord, thank you. Thank you for loving me, thank you for You faithfulness, thank you for just being the God who You are. Even when I am recalcitrant, You have blessed me through stretching me and even providing for me. How humbled I am that You are so present in my life. I pray that during this week that I may not only know You but know You even more. Amen. 

Bloom Where You're Planted

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."  Jeremiah 29:11

For good reason this is a popular verse offered for encouragement when confusion kicks in and the road ahead seems bleak.

I love that in Jeremiah 29 God communicates a message of hope as His people enter a place of exile/forced hardship/consequences.  The Israelites face a long season of difficulty but are not cut off from God's love.  They may be confused, but He is not.  He tells His children to build, make, dwell, work, plant, eat, marry, multiply, increase...not diminish, not dwindle, not waste away, not fade, not give up...to pray for the peace and prosperity of the city...to bloom where they are planted. Though their bodies would dwell as captives in Babylon for awhile, their hearts could look on as worshipers toward Jerusalem - focused on God and His promises.

God, You see and You know.  You have a plan!  Your love is perfect.  Your love is best.  ALL THINGS in Your hands work together for our good and for Your glory.  Thank you for giving us hope in darkest times.

Resting in God's Sovereignty

They say that you learn things through experience. This week, I definitely learned a lot about what it meant to put my trust in God in all things.

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”
-James 4:14-15

I don't like to identify myself as someone who always wants things in control, but as I organized Drexel's spring break trip to Ocean City, I realized that I was someone who wanted to be able to control everything I was involved in. Even up until then, I had experienced God's sovereign plan in my life, but in the moments where everything was falling apart, I still tried to control everything I could. So many things happened on the trip that were unexpected, but ended up being used for good (I think).

I pray that in all things, I can praise God for who He is, because who He is doesn't change regardless of what circumstances I am faced with. I want to humbly serve Him and learn to understand better how he works his plan through all things.

Being Motivated by God

James 4:13-17 really speaks to me because I always want to plan things; my weeks and months are usually always planned out, and sometimes I get really disappointed when things don't go the way I expect them to. When this happens, God reminds me that I've begun to idolize the event and whatever image of myself that I've associated the event to. I think this is a big lesson to learn in ministry, and definitely for missions, because there will always be instances that we did not expect or plan for, either to humble us or to encourage us. 

I was really challenged by the evening reflection portion, about how young adults float in and out of cities based on their work. We apply to schools/job positions, and logically speaking, where we get accepted/hired is where we end up. I believe God can use circumstances to speak to us, but I definitely think that there is so much more we can do on our part to discern His direction for us. It would be so powerful if young adults moved in and out of cities because there is someone that God wants them to minister to, or there is a cause that God wants to use them in. This Lent season, I pray that the time that I set aside with God would be powerful, and that I would be motivated by what God is calling me to do, and to make my decisions based on how God could best be glorified. 

The Narrow Path

The path that we are called to is narrow and the Bible is very explicit about how the Christian life is filled with suffering.  As believers, we believe when Jesus said that "No one comes to the father except through me".  Many Christians openly claim salvation, but how many are willing to be obedient when there is suffering involved?  Don't get me wrong, I'm all about that eternal life.  I'm all about those blessings too.  However, I notice that it's hard for me to want to obey when something doesn't make sense to me or gets me out of my comfort zone.  That's why I love and hate EV, because whenever I feel like God is asking me to go talk to a person I'm always like: "Ahhhhhhhhhh, dangit.  Ok, fine" - but I have so many testimonies of how God has used those encounters!

Obedience shouldn't be whenever it is most convenient to us, but instead should be with EVERYTHING and ANYTHING God asks us to do.  Like the prophet Jeremiah, who had specific instructions to do the awkward task of rebuking an entire people:

“This is what the Lord says: Stand in the courtyard of the Lord’s house and speak to all the people of the towns of Judah who come to worship in the house of the Lord. Tell them everything I command you; do not omit a word.  Perhaps they will listen and each will turn from their evil ways. Then I will relent and not inflict on them the disaster I was planning because of the evil they have done."
Jeremiah 26:2-3

Let's not be people who just say yes to the things that make the most sense or are the easiest to say yes to, but let's be people who have the mindset of saying yes before God even asks!

The Gravity of Sin

I think it's extremely easy to forget how serious the consequences of sin are.

The sentence "most of us are spoiled by grace...without this awareness of sin, we cheapen the grace of God" really stood out to me when I read through the devotional. Since I grew up in a Christian family, I was always aware of the concept of grace. It has always been a comforting thought knowing that no matter what I did, God would still love me and forgive me regardless. I think this resulted in me taking grace for granted and lightening the seriousness of sin. At times I would think "oh it's ok if I [fill in the blank] (i.e. don't honor my parents) because God will show me grace."  But after reading this post, I was reminded that sin is nothing to joke about. Sin is something that Satan uses to attack us in our spiritual warfare, keeping us from God. Sin doesn't have to be grandiose (i.e. murder) but it can be as small as something like complacency/apathy.

I pray that God will instill in my heart a desire to run toward Him and reject all variations/forms of sin in my life, no matter how big or small they may be. I am reminded that God's grace will cover me even if I may mess up (which is guaranteed to happen), but I will try nonetheless with the help of the Holy Spirit.

Freedom in Christ

 22 But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life. 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans  6:22-23
Ami devo
Most of us define freedom as choosing to do whatever we want, but true freedom is choosing to do what enables us to do what we want (there is a difference)

My prayer partner and I had a chance to talk to a guy who had faith that there is a God, but did not believe in the construct of religion or Christ.  He believed that religion led to separation, judgement, and oppression.  He ultimately believed in karma that good actions would lead to a return of good circumstances and visa versa. It was a great conversation because it really made me think about how Christianity may seem like a burden.  I am not excluded from this because I think about the many times I have resisted doing things that were out of my comfort zone for Christ.  The funny thing is that in the end, I am usually really blessed by the fruit from those times of stepping out in faith outside of my own bubble.  I pray that the man we talked to would be able to see that there is more to life than just doing enough good to avoid the bad things.  Also, for him to meet Christ personally and see the gift of life that He gives and to forgive those that he feels have oppressed him.  For myself, I pray that God would reveal to me the sins in my life and that I would choose to live a fully obedient life in Christ.  And hopefully, this will help me to make the right future decisions.

Pride and repentence

Jeremiah 26 really left me thinking a lot all day. 

"Perhaps they will listen and each will turn from his evil way. Then I will relent and not bring on them the disaster I was planning because of the evil they have done." (Jeremiah 26:3)

I'm constantly in awe of patient and merciful God is when it comes to His people. Despite the disobedience of the Israelites, His heart was for them to repent and turn to Him, and if they were to do that, God would also spare their lives. I thought it was interesting that the priests and prophets reacted so strongly to Jeremiah's message; I think we can see that kind of reaction in our times when we are rebuked. I'm reminded of how prideful we are, how quick we are to defend ourselves and to point fingers even when it may be clear that we were in the wrong. 

I must remember this one thing: God is abundantly gracious. I need to let down my own pride, and when I am convicted to recognize the sins in my life, that I must also come to the Lord and to ask for his forgiveness. That's what God desires. He wants me to be at the center of his loving and redeeming embrace, and I don't have to feel ashamed when I approach Him. 

His Grace is Sufficient

¹⁶ Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. ~Hebrews 4:16

This devotional reminded me of Chanmi's FNL seminar on "Growing in His Extravagant Grace." When we make the same mistakes and fall into the path of previous sins, it acts as a huge discouragement. It's what the enemy uses against us because he taunts us and reminds us that we have failed over and over. The enemy wants us to give up because inevitably we will fail and sin again. He wants us to believe that we'll never get out of the cycle of sin. However, on the positive side of things, the presence of sins in our lives is truly a reminder of God's extravagant grace. Even though we fail and sin, God's loves covers over us. His grace is truly enough for us. May God be the one glorified in our weaknesses and may His grace compel us to desire more and more of Him. May His grace be overflowing that much more out of lives, so that in our imperfections, we point those around us to the perfect One.

God's Sovereignty

Sorry this is a day late...here are some thoughts on the readings from March 22.


Reading through Jeremiah can be a bit depressing. There's a lot of death and destruction and poor Jeremiah has to tell the people of Israel several times over how they messed up and how God is going to punish them for it. A small part of today's passage that stood out to me was in verse 9:

I will summon all the peoples of the north and my servant Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon,” declares the Lord...

The Babylonians were going to come and take the Israelites into captivity and I think we can all agree that having your country being taken over and then being forced into exile is not really what any of us would want. The interesting part to me, however, is where God says "my servant Nebuchadnezzar..." I imagine it would be really easy for the people of Israel to be afraid of the powerful Babylonian empire and maybe even angry at God for allowing another nation to come and conquer them. They would see the death and destruction and wonder why God would do this and for how long (although God does say pretty explicitly here in this chapter that they will be in captivity for 70 years because of their disobedience...) and yet here we see that God has full control over the seemingly overwhelming force that is Babylon. To God, Nebuchadnezzar, despite all his worldly power and force, is His servant that He is using for His purposes and in fact, God says in verse 12 that "when the seventy years are fulfilled, I will punish the king of Babylon and his nation...and will make it desolate forever."

It's rarely our natural first reaction to hit a rough patch in our lives and think about how God is sovereign and thank Him for these rough times. However, I'm reminded here that God truly is sovereign and is in control of everything. He doesn't miss even the smallest detail and is bigger than any fear in our lives.

Definitive Direction

7 “Therefore, behold, the days are coming, declares the Lord, when they shall no longer say, ‘As the Lord lives who brought up the people of Israel out of the land of Egypt,’ 8 but ‘As the Lord lives who brought up and led the offspring of the house of Israel out of the north country and out of all the countries where he[a] had driven them.’ Then they shall dwell in their own land.” Jer. 23:7-8

What we find in today's passage is the Lord promising to his people a righteous branch that will reign as king and judge. During the reign of this king, the people of God will dwell in peace and security. I particularly liked verses 7-8 as we are able to see some sort of progression in God's redemptive plan. At first the people of God think of the Lord in his deed of rescuing them from Egypt. God then promises that His people would then remember him as the one who delivered them from exile. In conjunction with verse 5-6, the progression of God's plan is not yet complete. Not only would God rescue his people from the north country, but would also send a righteous branch from the line of David to reign as king. In my own life, I oftentimes worry about the uncertainties in my life. Most of the time it involves my future. When I think about what will happen in the next few years, it's full of things that may or may not happen. This passage was a great encouragement and reminder that God does have a plan in place for us as his people. Despite what may or may not happen in my life, I am fully able to cling to the certainty of his promises, knowing that he will bring me along the path that he needs me to tread.

Aspire to Make God Greater

The writer of today's Quiet Times, Cami King of JCC, challenges us to question why we pursue greatness.  Do we do it for ourselves or are we truly reflecting who God is?

I think this challenge is extremely important, especially in the specific context of ministry and missions.  There was a time in the fall where I was struggling with praying over a group.  My fears were that my prayers would not be perceived as "good" or "powerful" prayers - in short, I wanted to be known as a powerful prayer warrior.  Yes, I wanted God to move powerfully during this time, but I wanted to be the guy who ushered that time in.  Thank God that He revealed to me my pride and my fear of man and that He helped me give up times of group prayer up to God for Him to lead.

As we all prepare for the mission field, let us remember that it is God who moves and that we need to place Him in the drivers seat.  In Jeremiah 23 the Lord says to the people of Israel: “I did not send the prophets, yet they ran; I did not speak to them, yet they prophesied.  But if they had stood in my council, then they would have proclaimed my words to my people, and they would have turned them from their evil way, and from the evil of their deeds"(21-22).  Let us not forsake God for the sake of our own greatness, but as Jeremiah said, to stay in God's presence and His will, and God will use us beyond our imagination.

Comparison

As soon as David had finished speaking these words to Saul, Saul said, “Is this your voice, my son David?” And Saul lifted up his voice and wept. He said to David, “You are more righteous than I, for you have repaid me good, whereas I have repaid you evil. 1 Sam 24:16-17

I liked the AMI devotional thought from Friday a lot about admitting wrongdoing and apologizing. However, in this passage, I question Saul's comment to David in verse 17. I don't think it was fake, but I wonder how much he was still comparing himself to David even in that moment of remorse. It's almost like an apology came, but he missed addressing the deeper issue - why was he so paranoid and threatened by David? Everything David had done up to that point had shown that David would not overthrow Saul by force - David respected Saul, submitted to him, understood that Saul was the Lord's anointed - but Saul's mind and heart were pretty messed up so he could not see the reality of the situation.

In relationships, especially among leaders, it's so important to be humble and to value / honor others above yourself. How much does it stink when someone else is succeeding, even in ministry, and you feel that tinge of bitterness and jealousy towards that person? How much more joy could we have in life if we genuinely were able to celebrate with one another? David has slain his 10's of thousands - Saul could have been like, woohoo go David! Let's keep fighting together!

So, just praying that the Lord would help me to be on guard in this area of comparison and jealousy. It's an ugly one, and feels awful when I'm struggling with it. Help me to see the unique gifts in myself and others, so that we know we are each called to a specific purpose - we can rejoice with one another in their victories! Keep us united as a team this summer. Let Romans 12:15-16 be true of us: 

Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.

Swallowing Pride

Pride comes in all different forms; different shapes and sizes. It extends much more beyond the swelling up inside that comes from affirmation or the haughty look of self-righteousness. While these are certainly readily identifiable forms of pride, there can also be pride in humility, an inner pride that does not easily reveal itself. I feel like this is also the case with the pride described in today's devotional. A hesitancy to admit fault and failure stems from pride in ourselves that we can keep tucked away, one that prevents us from appearing weak to others out of fear that they might think less of us, and believing that we should be viewed as better.

I definitely see this reluctance to admit fault in my own life. Often times, I don't even think its at all ill-intentioned; most times I probably don't even think I'm wrong. However, this is due to the fact that its so much easier to look critically outward than critically inward. In many of my relationships, I feel like it's more simple to consider "this is what they could have done better" rather than "this is what I could have done better". As a slight tangent, this mentality is actually very prevalent in a video game I play called League of Legends; it's a 5 vs 5 team-based game, and often players will blame others for losses or their own faults. I think overall I am pretty good at being self-critical rather than outwardly critical within the context of that game, so its interesting to me that its so much harder for me in real life. However, I am coming to recognize this as a problem, and before criticizing others, I'm praying that God might help me take the plank out of my own eye and work to improve myself first and foremost.

This pride also leads in part to Israel's punishment throughout Jeremiah. While not explicitly mentioned in Jeremiah 21, in previous chapters, God talks about his disdain that the people of Israel do not recognize or admit their wrongs, but instead carry on without shame and without blushing. God would much rather us recognize our own faults and repent than to pretend as if they don't exist and continue on through acts of righteousness. Let's pray together to continue looking inwardly at areas that we might need to be grown and healed.

Leadership

I agree that leadership is a great privilege and responsibility. I also think that God holds those who are leaders to a higher account, responsible in some sense to give a reckoning to God at the final judgment. 

I think often times in work, we hear stories of bad leaders who slavishly force their employees to do all the work but then take all the credit. While I don’t think it should be taken to that extreme, I do think that leaders deserve more credit for the work that they do and the responsibility they bear than often times we give them credit for. Oftentimes, these leader/managers are the only ones able to see the forest from the trees and make tough decisions that no one party will be happy with, but must be done. 

To bring it back to the church context, we are all leaders in some regard. Some of us more than others. For myself, I played a more formal role as a coordinator in undergrad but even now, there’s a measure of leadership as part of the evangelism servants and even being a YA with respect to those younger.

As God has called us to build up one another, for this is His Church, His body, His bride, do I consider what sort of privilege I bear in seeing my brothers (and I guess sisters), built up? Or am I skirting my responsibility and so will I be accountable for my laziness and lack of love when I come before God at the last day? 

Lord, you have given me so much, though oftentimes I feel like it is so little. But you have shown how you take the 5 loaves and 2 fish and multiply it thousandfold, so would you take my talent and minas to build up Your body, so that we may all learn to glorify you more. 

My God Knows Me

I think it's often easy for me to forget that God is a God that knows me better than I know myself. Especially in times of discomfort/suffering, I push Him away from me because first, I don't think that He will understand what I'm going through since He is supposed to be this perfect God, and because second, I am ashamed to show Him the weak/sinful side of who I am. Whenever I struggle with exhibiting pride, I wonder how God would even come close to understanding. When I think of Jesus, he was the most powerful human of all time, yet he humbled himself to was the feet of the disciples. Seeing that, it's easy for me to forget that God understands me and what I'm going through even though he himself may not have exhibited these struggles.

In one of the bible verses pointed out in today's QT, it states in Hebrews 4:15 "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet he did not sin." 

It is comforting knowing that God knows who I am and the most intricate parts of my being. He knew me before I knew myself and will know me long after. It's funny to think that Jesus also went through similar temptations as us when he became a man on the Earth. It gives me hope to push forward relying on a non judgmental God that knows me and empathizes with my struggles.

Like Heavenly Father, Like Son

In 1 Samuel 20, Jonathan is caught in a really awkward middle: he is the son of Saul, who wants to kill Jonathan's very good friend David.  With the knowledge of his father's intent, Jonathan warns David and helps David escape.  All the while, Jonathan must've felt so frustrated at his father...maybe even embarrassed.  It's one thing to stand up bravely for a friend; it's another thing to have to stand up bravely for your friend against your own father.

This devo reminds me of an earlier AMI devo from this month about ‘legacy’ because part of leaving a legacy is not only about what you accomplished but also how people view / remember you.  I like to think that all of my family and friends think that I am a respectable person.  However, I’m the type of who pokes fun at the people he gets close to (and pokes even more fun at them as he gets closer and closer).  When I read today’s devo, that aspect of my relationships came to mind.  How much joking around is enough?  Am I actually being hurtful, and they’re just not telling me?  Have I really taken the time to bless them lately?  While being more comfortable around people and helping people be more comfortable around me are good things, it is my hope that my character in Christ ultimately shines through. 

Dear God,

Firstly, thank you for surrounding with me friends and family who accept both my good and bad qualities.  Give me the wisdom to continue maturing into a man of God.  My hope is that I will be known as someone who follows God in all aspects of his life and encourages others to do the same.  As all of my relationships grow, keep my joking at a minimum and help my character to ultimately be known as ‘life-giving’ as you are. 

Blessed are those who trust in the Lord

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, 
whose confidence is in him. 
They will be like a tree planted by the water 
that sends out its roots by the stream. 
It does not fear when heat comes; 
its leaves are always green. 
It has no worries in a year of drought 
and never fails to bear fruit.”  (Jeremiah 17:7-8)

As I was reflecting upon the above portion of the reading, I kept thinking about how crazy it is that this is the reality for those who are saved. Because of God's grace and unconditional love, we are the trees that are planted by the stream. The reality is that I have nothing to fear when heat comes; my worry is without any foundation. We are blessed when we trust in the Lord, when our confidence is in Him, because it is in those moments that our hearts are calibrated to the reality of His steadfast faithfulness and our salvation. We do not need to worry in years of drought, because His streams of grace and love are unconditional and always present.

Lord, as we prepare and go on these missions trips, please calibrate our hearts to the reality of who You are. As we get a better grip on this reality, may we place our trust and faith in You, the Lord of Lords, the King of Kings.

Sidenote - verse 9 was super humbling:

The heart is deceitful above all things 
and beyond cure. 
Who can understand it?

Heather Swik - Atlanta Team - 3/16/15 Post

Hi Everyone!  Hope you are all well!

The devotional reading for today is Jeremiah 17 and the study thoughts are based on 1 Samuel 19:9-10 and Romans 13:1-7.

1 Samuel 19:9-10 tells of Saul's misuse of power towards David.  Saul makes a failed attempt to pin David with a spear in an act of anger yet David escapes.  While David was wronged, he never lashed out at Saul, retaliated, or sinned against the Lord.  In Saul's eyes, David may have been weaker and therefore an easy target to take advantage of but Romans 13:1-7 makes it clear, David had a heart for Christ and therefore resisted temptation to right the wrong of Saul in a sinful manner.  "Two wrongs don't make a right" is a cliché phrase and the Bible speaks to a tangential point in Matthew 7:3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?".  However, Ephesians 5:1-14, particularly Verse 11, "have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them" makes it clear that when we face a situation in which sin is prevalent, we must make a choice.  Exposing darkness in an honorable manner is what we are called to do but the Bible tells us that the Lord our God knows our hearts and is the ultimate judge.  He rules over us and is the One we serve.  David was sinless in the eyes of God because his heart was pure and he exemplified leadership in how he handled the situation.  Saul's heart was not right in the Lord and he did not obey God, therefore his actions left him open to God's judgement.  This is the difference between a well respected and respectable leader compared to a poor ruler such as Saul.  Our heart and attitude towards authority matters.  While we may have authority or be under authority figures in a man-made hierarchy, such as an office of employment, the Lord has overall dominance over each of us.  Those who resist Him, resist God.  'God disciplines those He loves' does not mean we serve a self-righteous or unloving God who seeks to punish us, rather He tells us that when we allow sin to rule in our lives instead of Him, we shall ultimately face the consequences of a life that draws us away from Him instead of closer.

God tells us of His expectations, to keep ourselves disciplined but the warning against legalism is clear.  The state of our hearts matters!!  God knows who we are regardless of our actions (positive or negative) and reward or judgement shall follow!

I'm learning more each day to grow in helpfulness, kindness, compassion, empathy, and a loving attitude that I strive to approach the tasks to which God calls me.  I'm also learning to grow in discipline, confidence in challenging situations, faithfulness, and leadership.  Honoring those who dishonor me because this is what I am called to do by God, is not something to be taken lightly, neither is exposing darkness in a manner pleasing to God without sinning myself.  Before people, God is my authority, and the One I serve.  I pray that as I grow in my faith so too will be the diligence and heart in which I serve Him.  I strive to respect the Lord's commands and His will because it is far greater and more powerful than my own.  This is a challenge yet so worth it!  Today's devotional really applies to preparing for Missions and serving God's call in many areas of my life! 

Selfish Love and God's Grace

Today's AMI devotional on love for oneself is rather compelling; personally I forget that loving oneself can lead to a sinful path. In today's society, there's been an influence to love yourself for who you are -- which I totally agree with. But the motivation for that is important. We love ourselves because Christ has loved us, and there is a transformation in our lives because of that love. When love becomes an apathy or insensitivity to the sin in our lives, then that's a problem. I think lately I've been becoming more comfortable to pleasing myself. Yes, I see myself growing in the Lord, but there are times when I expect gratitude or reward. In servant's meeting, Pastor Joe talked about how our 'sacrifices' can often be 'investments' instead, when we expect good things to result from what we sacrifice. There are times when I would rather selfishly stay in my comfort zones even at the cost of others. It's easy to rationalize when to act with love or not.

Jeremiah 16
v.62-63 I will establish my covenant with you, and you shall know that I am the Lord, that you may remember and be confounded, and never open your mouth again because of your shame, when I atone for you for all that you have done, declares the Lord God.

In Jeremiah 16, God declares the sinful ways of Jerusalem and compares them to a faithless bride, and that this infidelity leads to their destruction. Despite this, God assures them of their covenant and His grace towards them, promising them future prosperity -- one that will remind them of their former foolish ways. In my own life, there have been low moments and high moments in which God has lavished His blessings even when I am so unworthy. How gracious is the Lord that when I am a sinner, He continues to remind me of how much He loves me. Each time I am even more humbled, witnessing even more of His faithfulness despite my sin.

Lord God, thank you for being so gracious and loving. Even when I sin, You reveal my wrongful ways and remind me to turn to You. Even when You are a just God, You demonstrate Your love in a way we do not deserve. I pray that Your love may manifest in selflessness and kindness towards others, that I may place myself before others. Amen. 

Unstoppable

This was, as the devotional contributor mentioned, sort of a dark passage to comment on.

"...and they told Saul and the thing pleased him.  Let me give Michal to David that she may be a snare for him and that the hand of the Philistines may be against him."  

Job 42 about how no purpose or plan of God can be thwarted came immediately to mind.  Try as Saul might to scheme the situation, God's purpose prevails.  Things may appear advantageous/disadvantageous to us through circumstances, but it's God's (beyond what I can imagine) loving plan that stands.

God Almighty, give me peace and an unwavering hope in Your promises, especially when things appear to be a mess.  Help me to seek Your will in Your way - with love, humility, thankfulness and surrender. Your plans are unstoppable!  

Too busy comparing to celebrate

I was just speaking to a friend a few days ago about how strong the spirit of comparison seemed to be at our school. It's so easy to slip into a framework of thinking where my self worth and identity is dependent / relative to the people around me. How do my grades compare? My job? My friendships?

I grew up hearing this old aphorism (I think it's from Theodore Roosevelt) that said something along the lines of "comparison is the thief of joy". Even as a non-Christian, the saying resonated with me. Yet, it was so difficult to not compare; the act of comparison is often like a knee-jerk reaction. As a Christian, I recognize how ingrained these kind of sins are in my heart and am continuously learning the importance of fighting the good fight while also surrendering to the Lord, trusting fully that He has started and will finish the good work within me.

What strikes me about the passage (1 Samuel 18:6-9) is that the women were celebrating both Saul and David, and yet Saul is not able to partake in the celebration because he is so busy comparing. When we look at the song they were singing, we see that the women weren't even comparing him to David! God has given us so much reason to rejoice in our salvation (Psalm 51:12). He is celebrating my relationship with Him, and when I compare myself to others, I've lost sight of the fact that Christ came to die for me as an individual - that I, myself, get to have a personal relationship with the living God who works for the good of those who love Him. God is not comparing me to anyone else. His love for me is not contingent upon how I measure up to others. He already loves me. He already is celebrating my return home and the great adventure this life with Him has been and will continue to be. Lord, help me to celebrate my identity in you with you instead of letting comparison dictate my worth.

Out-of-the-Box

Oops two days while on SB so will be making them up now.

For March 6th:

Jeremiah 5:

The chapter begins Sodom and Gomorrah-esque where God shows his willingness to save if just one righteous person exists. Off-thought but maybe this is foreshadowing to Christ that as the first righteous to truly exist, he could pave the way for the rest of us, and thats why it was necessary. Anyway, as for Israel, the entire nation, even the leaders, had their eyes away from God, and objectively even, it seems more than fair (just) that God is bringing about this punishment upon these cheaters. It's interesting to see the attitude of the Israelites, where they say in verse 12-13 "He will do nothing! No harm will come to us; we will never see sword or famine. The prophets are but wind and the word is not in them; so let what they say be done to them". I think we can definitely be guilty of that attitude, whether its thinking that God is this teddy bear that cannot bring about justice, or downplaying those words we do not want to hear. God's mercy is further seen as he leaves a remnant of Israel, not fully destroying them, that his promises might be kept. 

I read the passage in Jeremiah before reading the devo, but feel that they definitely tie together well. God doesn't always do what we want, since he is so much greater than us and won't be constrained to our will. So often we, as the Israelites did, put God into our own box, thinking that he will or won't do something based off our lack of understanding or selfish desires. At the end of the day, there is comfort in knowing that a God so much greater than us is in control, that we are dependent on him rather than having our every selfish, self-harming whim be granted. As PMark compares, its like being able to be a kid and go to your parents who are always taking care of you; while as a kid it might seem restrictive, in hindsight I would love to go back to that dependency and care of someone always watching over me -- and through prayer God is there! Whatever mental box we might construct, He is greater. He is quite literally out-of-the-box!

Not letting jealousy get in the way

A few takeaways from today's quiet time: 

1. Jealousy is truly purposeless and adds not a single benefit. If we allow jealousy to seep into our hearts, we are essentially falling for the schemes of the enemy and allowing ourselves to succumb to the measures of the world.

2. Jealousy is detrimental to our spiritual health because it prevents us from focusing on God's calling and will for us as individuals. Jealousy blinds us from what truly matters.

3. The goal is to have an eternity mindset, where we are not striving to be better than our neighbors, but rather to be more Christ-like.

My prayer is that I will remember the true Biblical standards I am called to and not the worldly standards as I journey through life. I pray that I will be aware of when jealousy is creeping into my heart and that God would help me to get rid of any jealousy. I also pray that He would grant me wisdom in how to speak and act in order to guard the hearts of others and prevent feelings of jealousy.

A Question and an Answer

P Yohan's description about his life and how he would be reluctant to want to "go fight Goliath" like Saul connected well into the beginning of Jeremiah 12.
Jeremiah complains about and questions why the wicked prosper.

"Why does the way of the wicked prosper? Why do all the faithless live at ease?" (v1b)

It reminds me of the lyrics from "Lament", from Tim be Told:
"Cause the wicked and wayward continue to thrive
And the martyrs continue giving their lives"

Many times I find myself asking why it seems like those who aren't trying to serve the Lord or are living in their sinful lives are having more fun and are seemingly more successful than I am.

God answers Jeremiah after his complaints. What stood out to me is how he follows Jeremiah's complaints with verses that discuss how the sinful will reap what they sow.
"They will sow wheat but reap thorns;
    they will wear themselves out but gain nothing." (v13)

I thank God for his grace that we have atonement through Christ Jesus. I pray that as I learn to love God more, he would make my heart and mind less self-centered and more Christ-centered. I also pray that I can have more of a heart for others to become more Christ-centered as we pray for them and evangelize.

Story of My Life

I'm sorry everyone, I attempted to post yesterday, but our internet in Puerto Rico goes in and out a lot.

I find that I am very discontent with the monuments that I attempt to build for myself. Most idols I build for myself is located in my writing or the success of my stories. While I'm not sure if I expect much of myself as a writer to write things that last amongst the masses into eternity, I do find that I place a lot of self-worth in my stories. There is worth I place in these idols, and I have a hard time listening to God's voice when He tells me that it doesn't matter what I build up for myself. There's comfort knowing that if something happens to me, the stories I wrote will live on through the people who I have shared my stories with. But I know that eventually, these stories will fade.

I've been thinking of ways to make the Gospel the heart of my stories. While there are stories that are very powerful, no story is more powerful that the Gospel. And I believe that God has a bigger plan for my stories than I could ever dream. Plans to use them for His praise and worship.

Lord, help me use the gifts that You have given me. Not to build up trophies for myself, but to build up your kingdom. Even though stories are just words on a page, please use it for Your honor and glory.

Fearing the Lord

As I was reading P. Yohan's reflection, I couldn't help but remember my internship over this past summer. Like Saul, I also had misguided priorities which revolved around performing well in front of my co-workers and boss. Instead of trusting in God and allowing/believing that He could enable me in that capacity, my mind was centered on myself and on what I could accomplish through my own strengths. Whenever I felt like I had under-performed, I would condemn myself. Everything at work seemed to be about my glory, and not God's. 

I think the reason why I held this fear of man was because of the immediacy of possible consequences. With God, we sometimes don't know His timing with consequences/discipline that stem from our disobedient actions; however, I had his great fear of people at work because I knew that at the sign of any disobedience, I could face immediate consequences (whether small or large). 

When reading Jeremiah, I feel like I'm sometimes no better than the people of Israel and Judah when it comes to fearing the Lord. God reminds them time and time again to turn way from their wicked and foolish ways, yet they continue to refuse everything He says. Even when impending judgement is near, they hold no fear of the Lord and His sovereignty. 

Jeremiah 11

7-8 From the time i brought your ancestors up from Egypt until today, I warned them again and again, saying, "Obey me." But they did not listen or pay attention; instead, they followed the stubbornness of their evil hearts. So I brought on them all the curses of the covenant I had commanded them to follow but that they did not keep.'" 

Father, you are one to be feared, and not man. Like in Romans 13, remind me that there is no authority except that which you establish over me. As I continue reading your Word, give me more wisdom to understand more of your sovereignty so that I may hold greater reverence for you. Remove any stubbornness in my heart that would hinder me from seeing you in this light. Lord let me fear you so that I may have a greater understanding of your amazing grace and sovereignty.   

Spiritual Reality

I see a lot of Saul's mentality in me, and I resonate with the work example because I definitely want to look good in front of my superiors. The passage made me think about why I place such importance on what man thinks, even though I intellectually know that God's opinion is more important, and I think it's because I don't fully understand who the real God is. It reminds me of P.Paul's Passion sermons, when he asks if we really believe; I think this goes for the "tough love" aspect too, in addition with the blessings that He has to offer. If I really believed, I would live in true reverence and awe, because I would know how real God's judgment is. 

Verse 26 ("for you have rejected the word of he Lord, and the Lord has rejected you from being king over Israel") reminded me that disobeying God has its consequences, and that although God forgives, I still have to take responsibility for my actions. Too often, I think about the mercy, grace, and love that God has to offer, but I forget that this comes hand in hand with His justice and holiness. If I were to really revere God and view him with awe, I would remember that being in a relationship with God is a two-way street; I don't get to just pick and choose convictions that I like.

Even after Samuel reminds Saul of what the Lord has done, and what the consequences are, Saul responds in verse 30 by saying "I have sinned; yet honor me now" -- and to me, that sounds incredulous, because he doesn't even think to repent first. Yet I often put that aside too, telling God that I will take care of ministry first, that I have to do all these other things before I come before Him and acknowledge my transgressions and ask for His forgiveness. 

As I prepare for missions, my prayer is that I would come to know God more intimately, to truly know who He is, and for that to transform how I live my life. 

Obedience & Submission

Saul has good intentions, or at least one can make the assumption that he does. He says he wanted to save the best of the things (sheep, spoil, oxen, etc.) and sacrifice it to God. The problem is that in the verse 3 of this chapter, God says through Samuel to "destroy all that belongs to them." I'm not exactly sure what Saul's line of reasoning was by not obeying what God had told him to do. He may have gotten to that point of destroying everything and thought it was a waste. He may have justified not doing it by saying these things could be used for better purposes, such as burnt offerings. He may have wanted to do what God said but became afraid of what his soldiers would think. But whatever the reasoning was, the bottom line is Saul didn't obey what God had told him to do.

I think a large part of obedience is about submission. Sure, you could begrudgingly obey somebody, grumbling and having a discontent heart the whole time, but if you're really obeying, you're submitting to the idea that what this person says is good and right even if you may have different thoughts or ideas. Getting to a place of true obedience, and therefore true submission, can be very difficult. We often want to be the one in control, be recognized in some way or form or may simply think our ways or ideas are the best ones. Of course, when it comes to God, we know that's simply not true (Isaiah 55:8-9).

I think for myself, there are times when I find myself in that place of "partial obedience," which, as P. Yohann says, is not obedience at all. Much of the time, this comes from fear and a lack of trust in what the Lord has said. While I may want to obey, I see the winds and waves around me and, as fear begins to fill my heart, it becomes easier to go to a certain point and say that's enough or want to take the reigns myself. But again, I believe that true obedience is complete surrender and while that can be very difficult, we know from the Word that our God is faithful, helping us in our need and working for the good of those who love him. I pray that I will continue to grow in obedience and submission to God as I am constantly reminded of His never-ending and never-changing love and faithfulness. Lord, help me to trust you more and learn to submit all the different areas of my life.

Friendship

Whops, I didn't think I would have to post again so soon after my first post so I didn't check the spreadsheet...so this one's for Sunday 3/8. 

These are the quick thoughts I jotted down from Sunday:

To lead by friendship, not to ultimately use someone or have them be a stepping stone for you to get somewhere, but really to have something special such that someone would do as foolish as go into a hopeless battle with you.  

Friendship is a great test of character, do I have it? Honestly I just feel like I use people, get what I want out of them and then when it no longer suits my purposes I move on. Friendship really dies to self, really lays down my life. True love is this, that one lay down his life for his friends. 

I started thinking a bit more about the old hymn today:

What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer! 

No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. (John 15:15)

Why does Jesus call us His friends? Servant, master, king, lord, God I can understand, but friend? 

I don't know how accurate or controversial this is, but friendship invokes a thought of choice. Whereas those other relationships are more or less by requirement, you can choose to be Jesus' friend, or not. Jesus' friends obey. They obey His commandments.  

Maybe Jesus called us His friends, so that He could show us how to be a friend. To lay down His life, not because He had to or anything like that, but because that's what friends who care about each other do. 

So how often do I think about getting to serve/die for my friends? When you serve, you get the short end of the stick, but you do it anyways because you're friends. Mmm. 

Connie Li - China Team

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." ~Ephesians 4:29

The timing of this devotional on the importance and the power of words we speak was perfect as I finished the first chapter of the 5 Love Languages--Words of Affirmation. Truly, there is a reason why words is one of the fundamental love languages. With words of affirmation, the book mentioned the subcategories of words of encouragement, words of praise, and kind words. There's a lot of potential to do good and show love through words. At the same time, words can curse and destroy, just as we read in this AMI devotional. I'm really reminded by how important is it to speak with God's wisdom and to discern what words are constructive and loving. Our goal as Christians and especially as we prepare for missions is to build one another up. We want to encourage and we want to exude God's love. There's always more than one way to convey the same message, but carefully chosen words at the right time will elicit a significantly different response than words spoken impulsively and based on emotions. Words have the power to transform relationships, and ultimately it is one of the fundamental ways to express love.

I pray that God will show me how to speak with kindness, gentleness, and wisdom to my family, friends, brothers and sisters, patients, strangers, and all those whom I may encounter. I pray that as we go off to missions, the words we speak to those we meet will be pleasing to the Lord.

Jennifer Im - OTR

Honestly, I was pretty impressed that Saul even waited for the seven days appointed by Samuel. Despite his desperate situation, Saul still followed Samuel's instructions and waited seven days for Samuel's return. Even though Saul ran out of patience at the end, it's hard for me to criticize him because I run out of patience even faster. When my circumstances push me to my limits, I rarely have the patience to pray about them. I make haste decisions, trying to solve the situation with my own strength and limited wisdom. Or even when I do pray about certain things, I often fail to pray with persistence, unable to endure in obedience. 

Saul probably thought that he had been "patient enough." He had already waited for seven days so he had been obedient enough. Yet, as today's devotional points out, "partial obedience" is not obedience. God is never partial with me. He is always fully patient, fully merciful and fully loving. In response to His commitment and faithfulness to me, I cannot offer Him just a part of my heart. As my Lord, He deserves complete sovereignty over my heart and my life. My obedience to Him should not be optional or dependent on my circumstances, but should be done without question or excuse.

Also, what is really encouraging is that God helps us to be more patient and obedient. As said in the devotional, "Patience is more than about just waiting; it is an act of worship." Patience is not passively waiting on God, but is actively trusting in God. God's grace humbles our hearts and molds us so that we can have our full faith in Him. He helps us to persistently and passionately pray, repent and worship Him.

Just as Jesus, the Son of God, humbly obeyed His Father, I pray that we, as His children, would obey Him with all of our heart and soul.