Spiritual Reality

I see a lot of Saul's mentality in me, and I resonate with the work example because I definitely want to look good in front of my superiors. The passage made me think about why I place such importance on what man thinks, even though I intellectually know that God's opinion is more important, and I think it's because I don't fully understand who the real God is. It reminds me of P.Paul's Passion sermons, when he asks if we really believe; I think this goes for the "tough love" aspect too, in addition with the blessings that He has to offer. If I really believed, I would live in true reverence and awe, because I would know how real God's judgment is. 

Verse 26 ("for you have rejected the word of he Lord, and the Lord has rejected you from being king over Israel") reminded me that disobeying God has its consequences, and that although God forgives, I still have to take responsibility for my actions. Too often, I think about the mercy, grace, and love that God has to offer, but I forget that this comes hand in hand with His justice and holiness. If I were to really revere God and view him with awe, I would remember that being in a relationship with God is a two-way street; I don't get to just pick and choose convictions that I like.

Even after Samuel reminds Saul of what the Lord has done, and what the consequences are, Saul responds in verse 30 by saying "I have sinned; yet honor me now" -- and to me, that sounds incredulous, because he doesn't even think to repent first. Yet I often put that aside too, telling God that I will take care of ministry first, that I have to do all these other things before I come before Him and acknowledge my transgressions and ask for His forgiveness. 

As I prepare for missions, my prayer is that I would come to know God more intimately, to truly know who He is, and for that to transform how I live my life.