As I was reading P. Yohan's reflection, I couldn't help but remember my internship over this past summer. Like Saul, I also had misguided priorities which revolved around performing well in front of my co-workers and boss. Instead of trusting in God and allowing/believing that He could enable me in that capacity, my mind was centered on myself and on what I could accomplish through my own strengths. Whenever I felt like I had under-performed, I would condemn myself. Everything at work seemed to be about my glory, and not God's.
I think the reason why I held this fear of man was because of the immediacy of possible consequences. With God, we sometimes don't know His timing with consequences/discipline that stem from our disobedient actions; however, I had his great fear of people at work because I knew that at the sign of any disobedience, I could face immediate consequences (whether small or large).
When reading Jeremiah, I feel like I'm sometimes no better than the people of Israel and Judah when it comes to fearing the Lord. God reminds them time and time again to turn way from their wicked and foolish ways, yet they continue to refuse everything He says. Even when impending judgement is near, they hold no fear of the Lord and His sovereignty.
7-8 From the time i brought your ancestors up from Egypt until today, I warned them again and again, saying, "Obey me." But they did not listen or pay attention; instead, they followed the stubbornness of their evil hearts. So I brought on them all the curses of the covenant I had commanded them to follow but that they did not keep.'"
Father, you are one to be feared, and not man. Like in Romans 13, remind me that there is no authority except that which you establish over me. As I continue reading your Word, give me more wisdom to understand more of your sovereignty so that I may hold greater reverence for you. Remove any stubbornness in my heart that would hinder me from seeing you in this light. Lord let me fear you so that I may have a greater understanding of your amazing grace and sovereignty.
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