I love playing the victim card whenever I don't get my way. Of course, I'll hardly voice my dissatisfaction, but what happens internally is a different story.
A short story: in 2013 the GCC summer team to China partnered with the AMI Beijing church to help run a week-long retreat for local church leaders. Our team was told that most of us would be helping with a VBS for the kids. Internally, I felt like I was being cheated by being a glorified babysitter. I wanted to be where the action was with the adults and where I (pridefully) felt I could be more useful. Not surprisingly, the VBS was an awesome time and the kids really melted my heart. However, it wasn't until the last day when we were really blessed: the entire congregation adults+children were together and there was an "open mic" time where anyone could share about the retreat. Every. single. church leader that went up to speak talked mainly about their kids and how they were so grateful that we taught them VBS. They all shared that there was a great need in their communities for Sunday schools and so they felt that even this one week of us investing into their kids was answered prayers. We were so rebuked and so blessed!
There are multiple things going on in this situation. First, there needed to be serious reflection of where my heart was. Why did I feel victimized? Was it pride? Second, did I choose to obey or not to obey? Jeremiah 42-43 tells us the story of the remnant of Israel. They inquired of what God wants them to do. What they received was: stay (under threat of being destroyed by Babylon) and God will protect them and build them back up or run away to Egypt (away from the threat of Babylon) and destruction will follow. The Israelites chose to run away, and sure enough, destruction followed them. Praise the Lord that we chose to obey because who knows what kind of damage we could've done if we hadn't.
Lord, help me to recognize that I don't "deserve" anything and that all Glory and Honor and Praise should be Yours and Yours alone. Also, help me to trust that Your plans are ALWAYS better.
A short story: in 2013 the GCC summer team to China partnered with the AMI Beijing church to help run a week-long retreat for local church leaders. Our team was told that most of us would be helping with a VBS for the kids. Internally, I felt like I was being cheated by being a glorified babysitter. I wanted to be where the action was with the adults and where I (pridefully) felt I could be more useful. Not surprisingly, the VBS was an awesome time and the kids really melted my heart. However, it wasn't until the last day when we were really blessed: the entire congregation adults+children were together and there was an "open mic" time where anyone could share about the retreat. Every. single. church leader that went up to speak talked mainly about their kids and how they were so grateful that we taught them VBS. They all shared that there was a great need in their communities for Sunday schools and so they felt that even this one week of us investing into their kids was answered prayers. We were so rebuked and so blessed!
There are multiple things going on in this situation. First, there needed to be serious reflection of where my heart was. Why did I feel victimized? Was it pride? Second, did I choose to obey or not to obey? Jeremiah 42-43 tells us the story of the remnant of Israel. They inquired of what God wants them to do. What they received was: stay (under threat of being destroyed by Babylon) and God will protect them and build them back up or run away to Egypt (away from the threat of Babylon) and destruction will follow. The Israelites chose to run away, and sure enough, destruction followed them. Praise the Lord that we chose to obey because who knows what kind of damage we could've done if we hadn't.
Lord, help me to recognize that I don't "deserve" anything and that all Glory and Honor and Praise should be Yours and Yours alone. Also, help me to trust that Your plans are ALWAYS better.
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