Blessings in the Struggle

In today’s AMI devotional, a really awesome message is presented to us: in the midst of our pain and suffering, God is our comfort and strength. 

A little over a year ago, I lost a family member to brain cancer.  This family member was diagnosed while I was living in Atlanta and getting ready for my senior year of college.  Ever since the diagnosis, I constantly questioned with a lot of anger: “God, why did you allow this to happen?...God, what did I do to deserve this?”  I continued to wrestle with God about this part of my life, and He used that time to show so much grace.  As I struggled, my brothers and sisters in Christ struggled with me and prayed with me.  My family became closer as we prayed together and loved harder because we realized that time is so limited.    

From such a tragic experience, I was reminded of how much strength I have in numbers.  Had I not understood what God was trying to show me during that time, I think my personality/emotions/attitude/etc. today would be very different.  I can only imagine how much bitterness I'd have towards God if I didn't pray and have such an awesome support system.  Friends ask how I let a loss like that ‘not affect me’, but I tell them “It affects me a whole lot, but I ultimately know that I am loved by friends, family, and [most importantly] God”.  Thank you, God.

Psalm 121

¹ I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
² My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

³ He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

⁷ The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
⁸ the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.